Why are toddlers so effing obstinate? It is clear that God made them so adorable to ensure their survival. By the end of most days, my husband and I look at each other like we have survived a war. A pissy, poopy, and confusing war. Every phase of raising children is difficult in its own way, but toddlerhood? Fuck THAT. If I hear “no” from my little girl one more time, I might just bring an apocalypse into this place. What is the worst thing in the world for a type “A” perfectionist? A tiny little being that will not bend to my will. I know too much about child development to believe that she is actually evil (though it has crossed my mind). My nickname for her is bipolar baby. “I want juice” Mommy brings juice. “No want juice” (throws juice) and has the exasperated look of a teen you have just embarrassed. “Do you want to get down?” which is followed by “No get down- finish roccli” and then promptly followed by kicking and screaming and a purple face that exclaims “No Roccli- get DOWN”. It is a miracle that my head doesn’t explode on a daily basis.
This face is the reason I don’t explode. It is also the reason my house always looks like we are sorting to have a garage sale that never, ever comes.