underwear on head.jpg

Garnett : wipe-a-my finger, wipe-a-my finger”

Me: Why honey, what did you get on your finger?

Garnett: I pee-pee on-a my finger

My little naked potty-training child did her little-kid squeeze of the private parts to try to hold pee in and it went terribly awry.  She was so annoyed at the pee.  Like, damn, pee why you gotta do me like that on my hand?  She doesn’t like dirty messes (toy messes are ok) which is definitely a plus, but when she is all fastidious about getting the jelly off of her hand mid-sandwich, it can be a bit much.

I guess pee was the theme today because Kanga (pitbull rescued on the side of the highway by my dumbass four years ago) peed on the floor at least once and is under suspicion of it being twice but it was never fully ruled if it was water or pee.  I love how my life has the great theoretical debates….I can just picture Socrates…..yes, but was it water?  or urine?  And does it truly matter what it was if it was perceived to be urine?

Continuing on with the potty theme, while I was taking a bath with GG she looks at me so seriously and says “Good job not pooping in the tub, Mommy.”  Clearly, we have praised her much since her accidental tub poop.  To be fair, it wasn’t entirely her fault as she was freaking out about getting in the bath and our stupid asses just thought she was having a weirdo two year old moment.  Turns out, she knew poop was imminent and didn’t want to do it in the tub.

So, to wrap up my day; There was a lot of pee involved everywhere (some of it GG did in the potty).  What does it mean that my nearly-three year old is currently more potty-trained than my fully-trained dog? I did not poop in the tub.  I am exhausted.

Fin.

Note: I am still freaking out that GG will be 3 on the 19th.  I feel like I need to breathe into a paper bag repeatedly so I don’t pass out.